"Alone in an RV on the I35 somewhere in North Texas. It sounds horrible when you say it like that, but it is where I find myself today. Much like the character from a Saturday Night Live skit with Chris Farley playing the affable and intense motivational speaker, Matt Foley, who was living in a van down by the river. True, for me, it is only for a season and part of it is by choice and part of it is the result of bad timing. None-the-less, here I am, at least for a couple of weeks until I finish my class and make the drive to Nashville to join my family and look for open doors there."
This is an excerpt from my journal this morning that pretty much sums it up at this time. It seems as if God has closed the doors for us to stay here in DFW. That was our earnest prayer, "God, open and close the doors that You desire for us. Show us the way." He is doing just that. Annette and Rachel are in Nashville and are already thriving among friends and family. It's one clear indicator that we need to plant there as a family and explore opportunities for work. So the adventure in faith continues. One thing is for certain, it's much easier to teach and preach faith than it is to walk it out.
I have had my moments of anger, bitterness, disappointment and unforgiveness toward both men and institutions, however, I made a commitment to follow in Jesus' steps many years ago and that relationship throws open the door for the Holy Spirit to gently, and not so gently, remind me that I must walk in the same forgiveness, grace and mercy as I require from others. So daily I make a deliberate choice to forgive, to let go and set my gaze forward to what God has for us in our next season. So it is that I look into an uncertain future with confident expectation that God will honor His promise that He has a future and a hope already laid out for our family and this is just one more leg of our journey.
I will join Annette and Rachel in a couple of weeks after I have finished my final grad class work and honor a preaching invitation here in the area. In the meantime I will choose to die each day to my unhealthy desire for validation and my need to be vindicated. Why? Because that's exactly what Jesus did. It's not the easiest path, but it's the right path. In the end, our experience will be nothing more than some lessons learned, wisdom gained and a couple of chapters added to my book. The important thing is that I maintain the perspective that God is in control, Jesus is still on the throne and I have been given a "Comforter, Counselor and Helper" in the person of the Holy Spirit who abides with me through the good and the bad days.
For those who may read this little piece, may you find the grace to forgive when everything in you cries out for vindication, validation and even revenge. May you find the peace of God that passes all understanding, even when it doesn't make sense. May you find the power to extend mercy in the same way that you require it.
Grace & Peace Phil 3:10
Recent Comments